This is the one time of year that I love wasps.
Not because the wasps themselves get any nicer. They’re horrid little creatures year round. No, it’s because I have a couple of big apple trees out back, and late August, early September is when the apples start ripening.
Now, if you don’t harvest your own fruit, there are two things you need to know about apples.
The first thing you need to know about apples is that, when apples get ripe, they tend to fall from the tree at the slightest breeze.
I often work late at the office; by the time I get home, there are piles of apples scattered everywhere - and sure enough, the wasps are out in force, gorging themselves on the fruit. When I go to clean up the windfallen apples, the wasps naturally do the “rawr, I’ma fuck you up!” routine for which wasps are known.
The second thing you need to know about apples is that they ferment very rapidly in the late August heat.
So: the wasps try to come at me, but they’re too drunk to fly. They get about an inch off the ground, then faceplant directly into the turf, flip over onto their backs, and lay there, legs twitching in the air as they try in vain to find something to sting.
Perhaps I’m a man of simple pleasures, but I bust up laughing every. single. time.
I tried to reblog this with a witty tag, but Tumblr took it as serious advice:
I can’t wait to see what atlus does to you, fluffy megane protagonist (ʘ‿ʘ)
I’m this huge, HUGE, HUGE idiot that lost the email+password she used to log into her blog. Isn’t the human brain amazing!?
My Angelic Pretty Cosmic jsk and otk socks came in the mail today! Probably not a final co-ord, but I was so excited to pull it out of the box. It’s gorgeous in person and fits like a dream. The socks are a little short for my legs, (I’m 5’9”) but they’re still great!
the more you know
And THEN we’ll take over the world.
Pallas’s cat is a small wild cat having a broad but patchy distribution in the grasslands and montane steppe of Central Asia. The species is negatively affected by habitat degradation, prey base decline, and hunting, and has therefore been classified as ‘Near Threatened’ by IUCN since 2002.
cowboy bebop end title cards